Between Faking It & Being It
The Wisdom in “Fake It Until You Make It”
The Rise of Authenticity
Over the past decade, there’s been a cultural shift toward authenticity — and for good reason. We now understand the value of psychological safety, emotional intelligence, and inclusive leadership. We encourage people to lead with their values, to honor their identities, to speak their truths. But there’s a shadow side to this shift, too. Sometimes we mistake authenticity for ease — and miss the growth that lives in discomfort. We assume that if something doesn’t feel natural, it must be inauthentic — when in reality, it might just be new. Why real growth requires both stretching into the unfamiliar while staying true to yourself.
Growth Requires Stretch
Growth is stretchy. It requires stepping outside your comfort zone, trying on new behaviors, and fumbling your way through them. That stretch is often anxiety-producing, not because you’re being inauthentic, but because you’re pushing against your own edges. You’re not pretending to be someone you’re not. You’re becoming someone you’re not yet. And if you don’t push yourself beyond what feels comfortable, you won’t grow — it’s that simple. But more than that, you’ll miss the chance to build resilience. Because every time you stretch and make it through, even imperfectly, you’re reinforcing your ability to face uncertainty and keep going. That’s how resilience is built — not in safety, but in the stretch. And resilience, once built, becomes its own foundation. It compounds. You do the hard thing once, and the next time, you’ve got a little more capacity. Over time, you can stretch further. Navigate greater complexity. Bounce back faster.
A Practice for the Stretch
Imposter syndrome often surfaces not because we’re faking — but because we’re in the messy middle of learning. When we’re moving from conscious incompetence to conscious competence, we know just enough to see our own gaps but not yet enough to feel solid in our abilities. That’s often when self-doubt creeps in. But feeling uncertain doesn’t mean you don’t belong. It means you’re in process. So the next time you feel anxious as you stretch into something new, pause and check in:
Where do you feel the anxiety in your body? In your chest, your stomach, your throat?
Name the quality. Is it a buzzing aliveness, a tight contraction, a heaviness?
Ask yourself:
Does my body want to move toward this, even if it’s scary, or does it want to pull away completely?
Is this fear because I’m moving into the unknown, or does it feel like I’m betraying something essential in myself?
Does this stretch feel connected to something meaningful to me — a value, or a version of myself I can see growing into?
Anchor in your why. What are you standing for by doing this? What’s the bigger picture or truth you want to move closer to?
When you stretch into new territory without reconnecting to what matters, you can feel like you’re faking it. But if the stretch is aligned with your values, grounded in intention, and connected to growth — then you’re not an imposter. You’re just evolving. “Fake it until you make it” got a bad rap because we took it too far — using it to mask, perform, and disconnect. “Be your authentic self” can go sideways too, when we use it to justify playing small or avoiding risk.
But in their best form, these two messages are not in conflict. They’re part of the same growth arc.
You start by trying on new ways of being — sometimes before you feel ready. You fake it, not to fool the world, but to practice. You stretch. You stumble. You learn.
And then slowly, with intention and reflection, you make it yours.
If you only “fake it,” you risk becoming a version of yourself that’s disconnected and unsustainable. If you only stay in authenticity-as-comfort, you miss the opportunity to grow. You miss the chance to build resilience and adaptability — two qualities that are absolutely essential in navigating today’s fast-changing world.
So the key is integration:
Growth that’s anchored.
Stretch that’s grounded in self-awareness.
Courage without performance.
Authenticity with range.
Not fake. Not fixed. Just fully you.